Pool etiquette

I had grand plans to get in shape and get tan this summer. (I am usually a very impressive shade of clear.)

Well neither of those two things happened. But these last couple of weeks I have been going to the university pool more often, and actually swimming. And there are two things I learned today that I thought I already knew but apparently I was wrong.

First off, you really should tie your bathing suit on as tight as you can; being in a hurry is no excuse for missing this vital step. Yep half way down the lane I realized that my top was coming off and I had kind of slipped out. There is no graceful way to get out of this in a public pool. It didn’t help that I started laughing and then started drowning.

Thankfully I was able to right everything, I think the guys next to me might have seen something, but meh oh well.

I’m thinking I might have to go purchase a new bathing suit, this one seems to have lost some of its elasticity, maybe three years is too long with the same suit.

And the second thing is: remove your makeup before getting in the pool. Because the makeup will run, but it will stay on your face, just not where you originally put it and you will look like a sad tranny.

So those guys might have gotten a free look but if they saw my face it would have scared the previous image from their mind. So I win.

Also as I was almost done the usually crowded pool seemed to clear of all other swimmers. There was no one to my left or my right. So naturally, I rationally assumed that somehow a freshwater, chlorine-adaptable shark had gotten loose in the pool and everyone else had gotten out and now I was the only one left to be eaten. Bastards could have at least screamed a warning at me.

I hit the wall and quickly turned around scanning the pool for a tell tale fin. But apparently I was wrong, there was no freak shark in the pool at all, instead all the swimmers were just lazy and hanging out on the other wall.

A shark would have been cool.