Well hell I’ve been kind of lazy these last couple of weeks, and now I feel bad because Ms. Puddin gave me a shout out. So I guess I’ll have to step up my game. Well I’ll try but sadly I’ve been incredibly boring and all I do is work.
But thankfully I have horrible neighbors so they always give me something to talk about. Like these last two weeks I think a few of them have gotten together and tried to think up the most effective ways to drive me insane.
And they have come up with a few good ones.
The first is creative assault from a neighbor (I haven’t figured out who he is yet) is the fire alarm. Not the normal pulling of it, like some freshman dorm prank which leaves you out in the Arizona freezing desert nights wearing a very thin tank top and shorts, but where he has let the batteries run down and now every minute and thirty-two seconds there is a loud chirp.
It’s been going on for over a week. I toss and turn a rip out more and more hair every time that happy little fuck chirps. How this doesn’t bother anyone else in the building is beyond me. I’ve called the landlord, the maintenance man and I’ve screamed out my window, all to no avail.
Soon I’m going to have to buy some batteries and go door to door. And then I will have the reputation of the insane neighbor, which might be a good thing.
The other thing is that my neighbors all play different music. Most of which I can live with, it’s mainly rap and mariachi music, which I think meshes quite nicely. But the other morning as I was getting ready for work I hear, from somewhere beneath me, a techno Frosty the Snowman. It’s freaking September, and it’s Frosty the Snowman. What is wrong with these people?
They were also kind enough to repeat the song 37,000 times, so that when I finally left for work I was ready to grab a butcher knife and kill just about anyone. (Maybe there was a subliminal message in that evil song.)
Other than that my neighbors are just your run of the mill, weird looking, creepy old men. Sadly about three apartments have a direct view into my apartment, so I keep my blinds shut all the time. Which is sad because I so enjoy my view of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit calendar on my neighbor’s fridge. Those chicks are hot.
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6 comments:
I feel you on the smoke detector. My old roommate's boyfriend was diabetic and wore an insulin pump. He'd fall asleep and something would come unplugged, triggering an alarm that would sound all night. It wouldn't wake him up, and my roommate, who was deaf in one ear, slept with her good ear in the pillow and slept though it as well. The first couple times I freaked out and ran in to wake him up, thinking something was wrong. After that, I'd just bang on the wall until one of them woke up. It sucked, though.
Techno Frosty? What kind of terrible karma do you have to deserve that?
I didn't know such a thing as techno frosty existed. I'm am SO sorry!
I have a crazy neighbor too. He is not into pranks but he is into knowing what time I go to sleep every night.
saratogajean - well at least I'm not the only one.
narm - I probably deserve it
dolce - thank you for the sympathy
lbluca77 - that seems worse.
I had a neighbor who's smoke alarm did that for nearly a month...and somehow they didn't hear it in their house, but in my bed, windows and doors closed, and fan on...I could still hear it.
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