Monday, August 22, 2005

So this weekend I flew to Utah in a tiny little plane from LA. I was all ready for the flight with an ipod, a book, and some candy. But after I sit down a larger man sits down next to me slightly encroaching on my space, I'm ok with this as airlines make their seats so that a toddler may sit comfortably and everyone else is squished, that's life. My problem was that the man didn't seem to have the greatest hygiene, there was a funk that emanated from his like the fog rolling over the golden gate. It hits you and for a second you can't see. I've been marinating in this stuff for two and a half hours when the flight lands, and now I assume that I too smell like ass, I love flying. Please everyone when in doubt shower, rub the deodorant across one more time, wash your clothes, or any combination of the three.

My way back to LAX was normal, nothing bad. But then on my flight to Santa Barbara the lady next to me pulls out her breast and starts feeding her child. Which is fine, I understand that your kid needs to eat, but the kid was talking, maybe I'm weird but it seemed a little odd. Would a bottle have been that difficult, or a blanket? I have my own breasts I don't need to see other peoples'.

Oh to have money for a first class ticket where you aren't packed in like sardines. But since I'm so cheap that I'll leave at the butt crack of dawn just to save twenty bucks, so even if I had the money I probably wouldn't pay for an upgrade. So next time I just need to bring some frebreeze with me that I can spray on the guy next to me, and a curtain that I can hang up, I'm sure I wouldn't seem neurotic at all.

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