Monday, January 12, 2009

Tests and stuff

You ever play that stupid game where you buy three random things at the market and see if you can get the clerk to react with a disgusted look or a giggle? We would buy zucchinis, condoms and a jar of mayo or whipped cream, lube and a bunch of balloons (what, we were easily amused).

I haven’t done that in years, possibly over a decade. When I realized I accidentally played the game last night (we should have given it some cool name, but I still can’t think of one). I finally got a reaction from the clerk, although this time I wasn’t trying. I laid down a bottle of bleach, a Tupperware container and a pregnancy test. I got a really weird look and suddenly felt really judged; it wasn’t like I was buying wire hangers with the pregnancy test. I didn’t want to jump the gun after all. I guess altogether it might have looked a little on the strange side. I'm pretty sure it was the Tupperware that put it over the top.

Thankfully, I failed the test. I can happily look forward to once again peeing on a stick, sweating for two minutes and praying to God that I will change my ways if only the test comes back negative, before seeing a negative sign and going out and having unprotected sex to celebrate.

4 comments:

saratogajean said...

I had to buy cat food, batteries, and a box of Velveeta shells and cheese.

Ok, I didn't have to buy the shells and cheese. Somehow I thought it would make the cat food and batteries seem less weird.

I don't think it did.

LBluca77 said...

I have never played that game before, but I am so going to now.

MsFreshBananaPuddin said...

I played that game one time on accident when I had some intensive diarrhea.it was an emergency and the closest place was 7/11 and all they had was this green bottle labeled anti-diarrhea med really big on the side. I tried really hard to explain to the guy that it wasn't for me. he didn't buy it just offered me a brown paper bag instead of the usual plastic ones...I should have thrown in a box of condoms just to throw him off...

Katie said...

Ok, why have we never played this game before?!