Jobs

I used to get excited when school was over. Yeah the summer! But now when school is out it means I have to get a second job, give up my weekends and try to smile nicely at the world’s most retarded people.

I’ve had a crap load of jobs in my short life, some really mundane while some were pretty interesting. I kind of miss those stupid little jobs I had during high school and college, the ones that didn’t matter and that even while I hated the jobs I had fun while I was there. so here's an incomplete list of some of my working past.

I got my first job at 14 doing data inputting in a warehouse in Oakland, I crashed their system — twice.

I then worked at a lovely coffee house where I would come home smelling like double lattes and would use the nickels and dimes I got for tips to pay for gas, the attendant hated me.

I then moved on to a Pumpkin Farm (which my friend still owns), that was the best. All of my friends and I had really buff arms from throwing and catching pumpkins for two months.

This was followed by a few summers of waitressing where I learned humility, and that my old teachers were good tippers.

After that I was off to college and I graduated to bartending, where I gave alcoholics more alcohol. But they tipped really well and I had creepy guys always hitting on me so that was fun.

I then moved on to filing at a defense contractor, Sept. 11 hit and that job became no fun. Actually filing in general blows, and I love how managers feel the need to explain filing in great depth. I know the freakin alphabet lady back off.

After college I got a real job in marketing, which sucked, and was there for almost three years (I got hired by another company 3 months before my old job would have matched my 401k, how stupid am I?).

That last job was the only one I got fired from. I should have known better than to yell at my boss, but what a bitch. I can only hold my tongue for so long. So after three months I was jobless again.

I came up to the bay area and got a job working part time at a cemetery. This had to be the world’s most boring job. I spent most of my time forming escape scenarios in case the dead suddenly popped up and started trying to eat my brains. Because you need a few escape routes just in case, I mean you don’t know if they are going to be the slow shuffling zombies or that fast as all hell ones.

Now I’m at the Metro. Which I really like, but one of these days I’m going to have to get myself a real job again, and I don’t think I’m looking forward to that.