Impressively dumb

Some turn to a life of crime because they know no other way, others to try and make a fast buck. But apparently some are just to dumb to do anything else, take for instance the Mensa candidates that walked into the San Bruno Police Department this morning.

First off the two guys and a girl walk in and try to get back their impounded van, sadly they forgot to bring any proof of ownership and the van is not registered under any of their names.

Next, as the police are working behind their little Plexiglas barricade, the three start talking (loudly) about different super interesting things going on in their lives. Like how someone they know apparently owes them some money. Now I'm sitting in the middle of the room against the wall, the woman is seated to my left and the two guys are seated farther away on my right side. So their discussion is being yelled over my head, as I patiently go through the press log and try not to laugh. I'm not totally paying attention to the conversation (I do have a job to do) when I hear the woman say, in all seriousness, "Well then lets rob 'em."

I look over to the guys who are staring at her like she's suddenly sprouted a golden horn out of her forehead. "What?" She said, "It's not like they can hear us."

Genius, lets propose larceny in the Police Station.

Sadly I had to leave before I was able to hear the rest of their plan. I'm sure it would have made MacGuyver proud though.

What's your zombie plan?

Instead of putting together an intelligent presentation on Perspectives on media and our understanding of the social world, I’ve put together a list of things you should have or know incase of a zombie uprising (watching Shawn of the Dead).

1. Friends that you know wont freak out on you and randomly run away and either take something necessary with them or lead the zombie horde to your location.
2. A sharp and hopefully long object. Your gun only has a finite amount of bullets, your machete never needs reloading.
3. A gun, for when you’re surrounded and have no hope of getting away.
4. Snacks, many zombies are slow be prepared to wait them out.
5. A change of clothes, blood gets sticky and smells bad.
6. A defendable location, and as much as I’d love to say a bar they usually have big breakable windows, I’m thinking more along the lines of a secluded house or bomb shelter.
7. A get away plan, I live near the coast so I’ve always figured I’d sail into the ocean on a stolen yacht.

Although I do have a quick question why do the dead always want to eat the living? It’s not like they need the sustenance, and when they are done eating how exactly do their bodies process the meat? They’re dead so I would assume their digestive tracks don’t work anymore, does it just sit in their stomach, do really aggressive zombies that eat a lot become big and bloated? OK that wasn’t so quick.

Sticker madness

So A bought a sticker machine. He's wanted one for awhile and finally found one he wanted on eBay. I worry now for the poor cars of the Peninsula. He and Shane (OK mainly Shane) went a little crazy in SB, and from auto decorations alone you would have thought that the citizens of beautiful Santa Barbara were into some kinky stuff. And though hundreds of miles separate the two I'm a little on the worried side.

Randomness

Whenever a show can work in They Might Be Giants' Put a Little Bird House in Your Soul, you know that show is gold.

And thank you Deb for making me a tape of it, way back when, every song on the CD still makes me smile. Especially the minimum wage song, because it is so true. I'm just sad I lost that tape and so I don't have it anymore.

I will forever whistle in the dark.

The polite thing to do

I had an interview for an internship last week. I never know how those things go. In general I get kind of nervous and over-smile, I always wonder if the interviewer thinks I'm just really happy to be there or if they think I'm going to eat them. And usually I don't eat before hand so I could use a snack, not that human meat is an option or anything.

Anyways they said they would let us know back by that weekend. Sunday came and went with no response. When Tuesday rolled around I figured I didn't get it and that they just forgot about me. But then I also realized I had never sent a thank you note after the interview. It was almost a week, was that way too late to send one now? I wasn't sure about the etiquette of a late thank you letter, actually I'm not really up on any etiquette. But I figured I might want to try and write for them in the future so I should do the polite thing and send one in. So at about midnight last night I finally sent it in.

This morning I woke up and saw that I had a message in my inbox from the editor. It was in reply to my extremely brief and uninformative thank you note, it read, and I quote, "Can you come over to the office this afternoon to talk about scheduling?"

Now I of course assume this to mean that he thought I was someone else and that he was replying to the wrong email. But not one to let an opportunity pass I quickly write back letting him know I would come over. The rest of the morning I considered how I would take the rejection when they realized I wasn't the person they were looking for. Hopefully they would feel bad and I could parley that into them letting me write something.

And then I got a call around three. It was the editor letting me know that he couldn't make the meeting, crap I wasn't even going to get the rejection in person. But no, he wanted to reschedule for tomorrow and that I had gotten the job. That really wasn't what I had expected, so I tried to reorder my thoughts and sound coherent on the phone. I think it worked since I'm talking to him tomorrow.

But now I wonder, would I have gotten the position if I hadn't sent a thank you note? Or was it all just funny timing?

Stupid dreams

I've heard that dreams are supposed to be unconscious desires that you can't accept during your waking hours. Or that they are a way for your subconscious to work out issues. And I have to hope and pray that this is untrue because last night I had the weirdest dream, and don't know how it fits into either of those scenarios. Of course it is quickly fading into the ether but here's what I can remember of it.

For some odd reason I was with "Way of the Dragon" bad guy, Chuck Norris (OK fine, and Walker Texas Ranger star), and we were trying to get away from something. As the dream goes on I realize that Chuck and I are an item (ew), and that the longer I'm with him the fatter he is getting. Before I wake up poor Chuck is morbidly obese and now I'm trying to get away from him.

I wake up thinking what the hell? Chuck Norris? And now I'm just disturbed, I don't usually remember my dreams and this is the one my mind chooses to replay? And why couldn't I have chosen a cute guy to dream of? And is it wrong to try and get away from a guy if he's starting to visibly inflate?

Again, Chuck Norris, there is something wrong with me.

Pointless or cool?

I saw this on Gizmodo and at first glance thought it was pretty cool. It's the VinylDisc and on one side it contains 70 minutes of music on a CD, the other side is a vinyl record. Of course it only plays back three minutes so it's more a novelty but the idea is pretty cool. This is brought to you by those quirky Germans at Optimal Media Productions and they even have an English band, Fightstar, signed up (although they are only releasing 3,000 albums). I'd love to see it but sadly I have no record player and I don't tend to buy CDs anymore. But it looks cool and I'm always sold on packaging.


On a side note how many times did I use the word cool in a small little paragraph? Note to self: buy thesaurus.

Modern myths

When I was little my mom would read me bedtime stories, my favorite was Perseus and Medusa. I used to think that "Clash of Titans" was the best movie ever made, and I almost became a Classics major at UCSB. I always thought Enkidu got screwed and found it funny that every culture seems to have some type of Cinderella story. I've always loved mythology, any type from any region.

So while doing a paper for 290 I found it interesting that many scholars argue that the media are the new myth makers. Myths aren't just fantastic stories from the ancient world, instead they are stories told to help maintain the social order. They don't have to be fiction, instead current mythology explains the unexplainable, brings reasons to events, and helps maintain the status quo.

You can find the main myths in papers and broadcast news all over the country. The article I read mainly looked at the New York Times after September 11. The four main myths used were the end of innocence, the victim, the hero and a foreboding future. The victim could be you if circumstances were different, the hero (emergency workers mainly) have all the best qualities of society and are fearless leaders, in the end of innocence the utopia you once lived in is gone forever and you'll have to get used to a completely different normal, and a foreboding future warns you of strife to come and that this isn't the end of the pain and sacrifice. You see the hero and the victim in news a lot, but the end of innocence and a foreboding future not so often.

The one that I found rather disturbing was a foreboding future. It sets the society up for a future that they know is going to be hard. In the case of 9/11 it warns the reader that tough times are coming, that everyone had to be vigilant, that we had to be careful because an attack could come from anywhere. It got people ready for America to invade Afghanistan. A news paper primed the public for war.

I'm sure it has been done before and will be done again, but I don't know how I feel about that.

The myths that the Times created helped people deal with an act that seemed senseless. It helped them cope with loss, heal and come together as a nation. Mythology gives people a sense of belonging, you can relate to the story, you recognize the archetypes and know what to expect. Mythology isn't dead it's alive and well in journalism.


*Lule, Jack (2002). Myth and terror on the editorial page: The New York Times responds to Sept. 11. 2001.

Speaking of lame, oh wait

I've heard of banning books, and movies but never parts of speech. Apparently Brazil's Federal District Governor Jose Roberto Arruda has banned the use of present participles. Ok he didn't ban them from the entire country just government documents, because of inefficiency. That's great, basically anything ending in 'ing.' I thought our government got bogged down in frivolous pursuits but this wins. good thing Brazil has no other problems to worry about.

Rules of Debate

Seminar classes can sometimes be enjoyable because of the debates they produce. If you like to argue they can be rather enjoyable. But some people don't realize that there are some niceties that must be observed.

Ok when debating someone here are a few of the lamest things you can do:

1. Pull figures out of your ass, yes I could do this too but I’m only saying what I know to be fact, your 89% of randomness fact should be backed up by a source.
2. Don’t start off sentences with “as you know…” it’s manipulative and lame, no I don’t know that that’s why we’re arguing about it (especially if you are using it every other sentence)
3. Use hypothetical situations, if it hasn’t happened don’t try to assume you know what would happen, you can argue what ifs until you die but it doesn’t mean anything.
4. Try to win an argument with volume alone, this should be an intelligent conversation not a shouting match. Being louder does not make you right.
5. Try to form your arguments, they should be coherent, it shouldn’t take you an hour to say no you’re wrong. After two minutes cue the music.
6. Yes we know that you are the most informed person about every single issue, but if you are in a seminar setting you personally don’t have to comment on every single issue, let other people have a say.
7. If race or sex have nothing to do with the issue, don’t bring them up.
8. And the metric system is just plain better.

Congratulations!

I want to send out my congratulations to Jerry Roberts who will be receiving The PEN Society's First Amendment award on November 6th at a dinner at the Beverly Hills Hotel.

Former editor of the Santa Barbara News-Press, before the meltdown, and current publisher of the Daily Nexxus, UCSB's daily paper. An amazing guy and a wonderful teacher. I took a class with him last fall and really enjoyed it.

So I wanted to say congratulations and good luck with McCaw.

And come to find out the smell of eggs makes both of us think we're in trouble, yeah something in common.

Wow, just wow

So I've done my best bit of procrastinating ever. I admit I'm a procrastinator but I haven't raised it to the fine art that some others have, until today. tomorrow, no wait today I have a miniature literature (ha that rhymes!) review and presentation due in my MCOM 290 class and I still can't even bring myself to read the studies. It's 10 minutes to 3:00 a.m. and I'm fooling around on the Internet. It's almost as if I'm seeing what kind of grade I can get on a shitty paper. And tomorrow, crap no today, I will find out. The presentation has me a little worried, not enough to do anything about it but I guess we'll see how it goes. I should really take this more seriously, technically this is my most important class of the semester. Also least favorite.

I should have just gone back and gotten another bachelor's degree, I love my undergraduate classes.

And why isn't anyone up right now?

Oops

The main joy of grad school is the obscene amount of reading. Of course it really doesn't help that I tend to wait until the last minute to do my reading every week. This week not only do I have a copious amount of reading but I also have a mini literature review to do and a presentation in class. And yesterday I started to gather all my reading materials together so that I could pile it together and stare at it mournfully before putting it off for another day, when I found that I didn't have the main book that I have to do my presentation on.

Well sure it's half way through the semester and I probably should have purchased all the material for class already but I've been distracted. So I headed down to San Jose to purchase the required $80 book. And come to find out the bookstore closes at 3:00 p.m., it was 3:02. So of course I pounded on the door until someone came by. And then I had to beg and plead and still he wouldn't let me in, and instead went and got his manager.

So I'm waiting outside of the student center, dear god it smells like carnies and death out there, and finally some chick comes out. She looks at me and tells me in her most condescending voice, "I'm sorry but we've already been closed for five minutes."

Shit, what was I thinking? Five minutes! She probably could have written the book I need in such an expansive amount of time. So I have to fight down the sarcasm open the eyes really wide and beg and plead again.

Finally with an audible sigh she lets me in. I run down the stairs to the MCOM section and start searching frantically. I stare at the empty section where my book is supposed to be, it takes a few seconds for reality to process, the book isn't there. As I walk out of the store the chick glares at me so I wave and smile.

I grab my friends and walk over to Robert's books store, which is also closed. I console myself with some nacho fries dipped in yummy fat at Iguanas. I then head to a party and try to forget about the massive F I will receive on Monday.

Sunday rolls around and I decide to check out the library, hoping and praying they can help me out before I'm royally screwed. I get into my car turn the key and nothing happens. Ok not nothing, the tachometer and odometer start shaking like crazy. Wonderful I get out of the car, check the fuses and realize I'm screwed. Another week with Caltrain.

So I steal A's Blazer and head to the library. And nope they don't have the book either, but I was able to find it online for full price. So that kind of blows but at least I can do my assignment after I'm done slacking off. Did I mention I have about 200 pages to read before the library closes?

If you don't want to hear the answer, should you not ask the question? Even if you are asking yourself?

Name Calling

I’m weird, if I get along with someone I’m usually mean to him or her. Not viciously mean but pretty sarcastic. I like arguing, especially with someone that can hold their own; you don’t want to argue with someone if you know it will reduce them to tears.

One of my favorite antagonists was a guy I used to work with, he was a cool guy that was fun to argue with because he always had some random facts, usually gleaned from animal planet, that could shut me up pretty quick. That and he also liked to argue, about everything.

The reason he is my favorite because once when we were sparring, and after some heated words he called me bellicose. It sounds like such a pretty word, almost a compliment, for a second I was flattered. But no, it means hostile and war like.

The use of the word bellicose makes me think of warlike as in Boudica the Celtic queen who led her soldiers against the Romans and killed herself before being caught. I like this because visually I am anything but a warrior. I’m small and clumsy and I put fear into the hearts of nothing.

I’ve always been small, I was picked on in school and sarcasm became my defense. But I never felt that I was a fighter, I felt like I hid behind words, I always felt small.

But for a moment, to a guy who was much bigger than I, I was an adversary on an equal playing field. And I could hold my own.

Itching and books

Third day taking the train. It was a lot more relaxed almost enjoyable, I was able to do my homework on the way there and I didn't have to take the bus back as Chris was kind enough to give me a ride to the station. I grabbed a free Metro and settled down to read while I zipped along. I get about half way when I see a little black dot jumping on my leg. Yep I was getting attacked by fleas.

After twitching in disgust I got up and moved to another seat. It looked clean but now my suspicions were roused. The last half of my journey I spent constantly checking my seat for little invaders and brushing at my arms and legs. I was very happy to get off that train.

After a lovely trip on Caltrain I decided to get a book at Keplar's. The man working behind the counter had multiple items of flair, but I knew I couldn't mention it because he looked so serious. I don't think he'd even get the reference. How is it that a bunch of middle aged men work at a bookstore? And they all seemed so serious, lighten up you work in a book store, that's like my dream job although I'm pretty sure I would soon be fired for fondling the merchandise.

And other things that smell like urine

It’s 9:30 and I’m waiting at the San Jose Caltrain station until 10:30 p.m. for the next train. And I realize how much I miss my car. You would think that growing up with a father who is a bus driver I would have a little bit more appreciation for mass transit. When I was a little girl I always looked forward to take-your-daughter-to-work-days. I would swing on the bars and run up and down the aisles for hours. The passengers would tell me stories and then my dad would take me out to get an ice cream before we went home.

Now I get out of school around 8:30p.m. catch the 9:00 bus that gets me to the train station two minutes to late to catch the 9:10 train so instead I wait for another hour to catch the last train of the night at 10:30. The other riders are no longer smiling at me and telling me stories; instead everyone avoids eye contact and composes their faces in a carefully blank expression. All I want to do is get home and now I won’t be there till well after 11.

These last few days have killed the joy of public transport for me. It used to be so nice to ride the train into the city knowing I wouldn’t have to worry about parking. But now I will remember this boring night where there are only three other people in the station and they are talking in Spanish so I can’t listen in.

And I’m not so sure that Menlo Park feels like home. I’m not sure what it is but there is something missing there. I like the apartment but, I don’t know, it’s just not the same as Santa Barbara. I feel more connected with San Jose but that’s just because I spend all of my time there. I’m sure that after a few months I’ll like it better.

But I don’t know how long I’ll be there either. I’ve kind of gotten itchy feet, which I know A wont appreciate, although I’ve always had them I’ve just hidden them since I’ve been with A. After school I think I’d like to move to New York and live there for a few years but again A wont go for that. But that’s where all the magazines are. True a writer can write anywhere but to work on a magazine you have to be where that magazine is, very few people can survive off a freelance budget.

Oh the urine thing, mainly that was just the bus on the way over to Caltrain, how does a whole bus smell like pee?

More Bitching

I think I might have taken on a little too much. This semester I've decided to take two grad classes and two undergrad classes. MCOM 290 is going to completely kick my ass. The second day of class the teacher has boxes of paper brought in. Then she basically hands us each two reams of paper and lets us know that including our text books we will reading these as well. Oh joy. I mean other students have told me that this is the worst class I will be taking, but I just never realized how very wrong the class is. I think it will be one of those that as long as I pass without much scarring I will consider myself lucky. Of course if I could plan my time better the class would probably not be that hard. But I haven't even come up with a general idea for my thesis, and I'm supposed to come up with an intelligent question with which to base a thousand (slight exaggeration) page paper on?

And Access magazine is going to be one of those beloved pains. I love the class but it's going to be a large time investment and I think it's going to give me a decent headache. But it should be more than worth it. And yet I'm already scared that it might turn out to be horrible, it's hard to not try and take control of everything. But in the end if I did that it would probably turn out even worse than if I hold myself back and let people do their own jobs.

And now I really should get back to my homework, as painful as it is.

A Good R Movie is Not a Good PG-13 Movie

Ok I'm actually a pretty bug fan of sequels. I like the fact that a new Halloween comes out regularly or that ever 10 years you can expect another Romero movie (please let him live for at least 30 more years). But what makes me angry is when they make a sequel to an action/horror movie that was originally gory and cuss filled and then tone it down to reach a larger audience. Currently I am watching Die Hard and I loved the sequels (ok the second one wasn't that amazing but it still was good times), and the fourth one had so much potential and then they go and make it PG-13. To me that is a slap in the face to the fans who have faithfully watched over the years. Take for example Alien vs. Predator, which could have been awesome but instead they changed it to PG-13 and had the cameras cut away every time they killed someone, Boo!

Productivity at its finest

So today was the day at the magazine where we pick feature articles, and although it started off promising I think it kind of degenerated from there. Mainly we just ran out of time but it felt at the end we were just grabbing at any idea and throwing a writer at it. I guess I shouldn't worry too much as I feel we have a strong six or seven articles and if those work then I wont have to worry about the other ones as much. And that's the other thing that worries me, if we over-book the magazine and all of our authors come through how do we tell some of them that their article got cut? I put a lot of time into mine last semester and I would have been devastated if my editor told me they were no longer going to use it. Although if we have a website we could put them online, which I think they did last year, I'll have to look into that.

The Art of Unpacking

So A and I have been in our new apartment for almost two months. And we've been pretty pathetic in the unpacking department. Although we haven't had many weekends here its still no excuse, the truth of the matter is that we are both just lazy. So the only way we unpack is if someone comes to visit us. Thankfully (kind of) we've had a mad rush of people this month so we're doing better. Though we do still have so many boxes and I'm not sure what is in them or if we need them, because we've been doing pretty well without them so far. And A's parents are coming up tonight so we got a little more done but after tonight we don't have anyone visiting until the middle of October. So I'm pretty sure the unpacking will come to a dead halt after this weekend. But that doesn't mean I want anyone to come visit, I want a few weekends to myself. Of course it would also be nice to have my closet be full of clothes instead of piled high with boxes.

Me not write so pretty one day

So one of the reasons that i started this blog was to write more often and work on my grammar. But now that I'm taking an editing class I find myself fighting against learning what I was so desperately trying to improve. The grammar book is sitting next to me, beckoning me to open it and instead I stare passively at it and write in my blog instead. Oh well I'll try again at a later date.

It's 12:30 and I find myself easily distracted right now. Instead of doing my homework or going to sleep I find myself watching 'Sin City,' gratuitous violence helps relax me (I have issues). I sit here thinking that the Oscars need a few more categories like best action or comedy, not that 'Sin City' would win for either but it's late and I'm tired so my mind wanders. Anyways for those of us that really don't give a shit about gay cowboys eating pudding or people kissing in the rain, adding a few more categories for best action sequence or best fight would possibly make me want to watch it. Ok it wouldn't but still those actors should get some recognition for fun movies and not just the mellow dramatic crap that is normally nominated. Although I do want to add this caveat: I have horrible taste in movies.

And I'm Back

Well I'm proud of myself as I didn't take a whole year to republish, instead I only took 7 months. Thankfully I don't believe anyone reads this so I'm ok.

I'm at my second semester at SJSU and it looks to be an interesting one. I'm pretty sure I'm taking on too much but oh well. Not only am I taking two grad classes (and 290 looks to be a right bitch(not the teacher, the class)), but I'm also working on the magazine which should suck up the rest of my time. On top of that the editor called from SMDJ so I started that up again. At least I'm not working (ok occasionally but nothing definite).

Tonight instead of doing my homework I am checking out my snazzy new printer, the HP5280 all -in-one. Which so far is pretty neat, I've been scanning in old pictures and they seem to be coming out decently. I wish their photo edit had more functionality but I can do serious edits in photo shop. And I must say wow I was a little picture crazy in college and I always slightly possessed in pictures.

Cold SB

Its been freezing in SB, literally, I kid you not. It gets down into the twenties at night. Now I know that anyone from out of state scoffs at temperatures in the twenties, commenting that they walk around with shorts on at those temperatures, that it seems almost balmy. But I am used to a certain type of temperature and what I've been getting lately is definitely not it.

And as its my last week in SB it seems that we are eating out more often than not. Which I love eating out, but lately I've noticed a rather evil trend in restaurants. As I walk in from the freezing cold I notice that its not that much warmer in the restaurants, looking around I notice that most of the patrons have their coats on. As a service based industry this seems a little messed up, shouldn't they be trying to make the customer more comfortable, or do they figure a slightly cold patron won't linger over their tiramisu? Restaurants are supposed to be warm and cozy, a welcoming environment where one can relax and enjoy their meal. Instead I sit their trying not to spill on the scarf that I am required to wear. Is it just that not enough people are complaining about it, can the managers not see the preponderance of jackets, or am I the only one that is cold and everyone else just enjoys wearing parkas to dinner?

Work Appropriateness or Lack Thereof

Ok so I've been working as a temp here in the beautiful Santa Barbara area for about four oh so fun months. The jobs have been boring, and lame but they pay me enough that I can get by (which isn't as easy as it should be in this pretty little beach town). Anyways recently I started at a new place, mainly just filing and scanning stuff. I'm pretty sure that my brain atrophies a little bit from non use everyday. Well I was sitting at my desk (a desk that was vacated because the man is sick and no one is really sure if he's returning or not, and apparently he was a pretty big slob so its also a mess) and I needed some post-it notes, so I started looking through the desk. Well I open one draw and what do I find but four catalogs of porn! I quickly shut the door and giggle to myself, and of course call up A and tell him what I found. I don't want to tell anyone because the poor guy id sick and I don't want him to get into trouble, but it also seems really icky to be there at work. I'm all for porn but it seems like its more of an at home activity, not appropriate for work.

Its Official

I'm going back to school. I start on January 24th as the newest academic at San Jose State University home of the Spartans. Which is kind of funny because in the 6th grade we did this whole Greece thingy and we divided up into different city states and I was part of Sparta, I gave myself the name Calliope and good times were had by all. Anyways back to now, I'm going to be getting a Masters of Mass Communication in Journalism, so hopefully this blog will be a bit better written in the months to come. And if not well then I just blew a shit load of money.

Public Drunkenness and Tests

Many moons ago A and I got together with some college friends, headed over to one of two of this town's Irish pubs and paid to be publicly humiliated. We had fun, we had some beers, and we got reminded how stupid we really were (damn you public school!). This went on for awhile until the announcer lady quit and was replaced by annoying announcer lady, and we decided not to return.

Fast forward a few years and now a English pub and you have us once again attending another Quiz Night. Maybe we've learned in these years or the questions weren't as "pulled out of the ass" but we did pretty well. We didn't win but I think we had a solid showing, our worst round being 4 out of 10. All in all I had a great time and we've scheduled to go again in 2 weeks. I mean its tests with alcohol, pure genius!

Terry!

What do you call a bunch of drunk people in white? Terry!

So my friend Alli came up on Saturday to hang out. she really wanted to go wine tasting and as we had just bought the SB axxess card, and got quite a few free tasting from the local wineries, we thought sure why not. We hit up Sunstone, Kylara, and the Fess Parker, as we didn't leave the house until 2:00 pm we ran out of time to go anywhere else. Sunstone and Kylara were fun, nothing strange going on just a bunch of people enjoying the weekend. It was at the Fess Parker that things got a little weird.

We drive up and see about 50 people all in white running around on the grass and playing frisbee. OK why everyone was wearing white we weren't sure but we figured it was some sorority thing. Then Alli and I ran into 3 of them in the ladies room and decided to ask what was going on. A visibly drunk woman in a goodwill wedding dress told us "We are likescientologists without the aliens (is that even possible?). We are equals so we're call each other Terry. I'm Terry, she's Terry, we're all Terry. And we're all getting married this weekend!"

Alli and I leave thinking that it was all some big joke. But as we're exploring the grounds we see the Terrys standing in a big circle, and then they all crowd together yelling stuff. We weren't really sure what was going on but we were entertained. A man there said they come up on weekends get drunk and marry a new partner. Seemed like a big excuse to come up to the wine country, get drunk, and get laid.

What Exactly Is Substance?

Ok I was going to finish writing that story on the two girls that walked into my journalism class last Tuesday but after writing it, it came out boring so I decided not to post it.

Instead I read an article on slashdot of an Indiana University study about the Daily Show having as much substance as regular news shows. The article was short but interesting, the headline summarizes it. But what was more entertaining was the commentary below beneath the article. I found a list of bullet points that one commentator made about the current Republican party, that is to say the ones in power, not Republicans in general. And that all of the bullets could be backed up with how elected officials were acting.

• Government has a legitimate role in enforcing personal morality.
• Unilateral use of force for purposes other than immediate defense of oneself or one's allies is not inherently illegitimate.
• Achieving military objectives is more important than maintaining personal liberties.
• A free media threatens legitimate governmental interests unless placed under substantial controls.
• A strong, empowered leader granted wide powers (with which to attack our enemies) is a Good Thing.
• The executive branch of government may have a legitimate need to act outside of the law, and should be able to prevent laws from being enforced which could hamper its actions (when those actions are taken in the interests of national security).
• The executive branch of government should be able to avoid transparency when it sees fit, including in cases where it uses its powers to act in a manner not consistent with standing law in the interests of national security.
• Questioning strong leadership in the context of an active conflict is inherently unpatriotic.
• Noncitizens do not need to be granted the same rights as citizens.

When listed these characteristics are scary and very Orwellian. I mean sure its not like our president is a dictator or that they don't share information, but who gets to say they've gone to far? When you keep giving yourself more and more authority who do you answer to? Is being safe more important the personal liberties? Is it more important to fold the toilet paper or just bunch it up before using?

Leads?

So I'm taking a Writing for Nonfiction class at the adult ed center in Santa Barbara. I'm pretty excited about it as the instructor is Jerry Roberts formerly of the News Press, and he seems quite knowledgeable. I do feel like I should be helping everyone to their seats as I am the youngest by a good 15 years (ok so there is one other person my age there), but many of them do seem to be good writers and definitely not shy about reading their stuff aloud, where as I get nervous and never raise my hand.

At the end of class two younger women came in wearing wigs and boas and did a little scene with Jerry, now of course he didn't tell us before time but after everything happened he told us that we get to write about the little scene. Which is just wonderful, and the main theme of last weeks class was leads so I have to try to come up with a good lead in which to pull a person into the story. And I really should volunteer to read this one aloud as Jerry said he would write me a letter of recommendation. So crap.

- An angel and a devil walk into a class room...
- With twenty minutes left of the class a small disturbance grabbed the students attentions,
- In the doorway stood an angel and a devil, united in an attempt to get the instructors attention.
- Where most people have an angel on one shoulder and a devil on the other Jerry Roberts has them walking into his classroom.

Ok I guess I'll have to work on them. Finished story to come.

News-Depress

I used to read the Santa Barbara News-Press everyday. I had no clue what was going on behind the scenes I just wanted to know what was going on in the local news. About three months ago everyone found out what was going on inside the News-Press and, I at least, was shocked. Instead of some happy news room like out of a scene from Superman, it seemed like it was a dark place where everyone was looking over their shoulders and whispering to each other. I started reading some of the employees and community members’ blogs and got to know a little bit more. I started to read the editorials more and the columns, along with more articles at the Independent, and it just saddened me more. With more and more people leaving, the last two getting fired, and now the author of the Healthspan column Dr. Seabaugh has also decided not to bring his article back to the News-Press it just gets more depressing.

Dr Seabuagh decided not to return to the News-Press because the firing of his editor Andrea Huebner was the last straw. Last week the News-Press felt the need to apologize to Dr. Laura because of what was written in Dr. Seabaugh's column.

"On Tuesday, Santa Barbara News-Press columnist Dr. Michael O.L. Seabaugh wrote an inappropriate personal attack about fellow columnist Dr. Laura Schlessinger. The News-Press asked Dr. Laura to offer her opinions, views and expertise in our newspaper knowing that not all of our readers will agree with her opinions. We also know our readers don't always agree with the opinions or views of all of our other columnists or writers. The Santa Barbara News-Press wants to apologize fully for Dr. Seabaugh's comment. We have apologized to Dr. Laura Schlessinger privately and we also wanted to do so publicly. Sincerely, the publisher and associate editor of the Santa Barbara News-Press."

This was a response to "Dr. Laura may have the cajones to preach against tolerating diversity, but personally, I will not spend one more minute of this precious time I have intolerant of the wonderful diversity of my fellow humans." Dr. Laura is notorious for not excepting diversity, it’s just another News-Press show of protecting their friends.

With 19 people now gone it looks more and more likely to me that the News-Press that people used to love will not be brought back and that we will just have to let it die. In a few years people will probably forget about all of this and start reading it again until the situation explodes again. I hope that is not the case. I hope the community can resuscitate the News-Press and that it can once again be a newspaper that we can trust and that is representative of the community.

Stupid Politics

Why is it that its never about what you have done but about what the other person has done wrong? Political adversaries seem to care more about smear campaigns than showing what they can do for the people. Take for example the gubernatorial election in California. The Democratic nominee's camp got a hold of an embarrassing tape of Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger from his website and gave it to the Los Angeles Times. They are claiming that this is legal because it was on the website and Schwarzeneggers camp is saying it isn't because that section was password protected, but just because its legal doesn't always mean you should do it. I'm pretty liberal but do I want to vote for Angelides knowing that he employs people of questionable ethics? Angelides and his camp say that Angelides knew nothing of this debacle, but to me that says that he can't control his underlings, or he's lying. Either way he's either a puppet or lying go for the throat kind of guy, both of which leave me with a bad taste in my mouth. Every election I go to the voting booth not filling in circles thinking that this guy will be a great leader, but more this guy wont do as much bad as the other guy. When did voting turn into choosing the lesser of two evil? Or has it always been this way? I want a candidate that I can get excited about, that I really want to lead my state/country. But thanks to this little stunt I believe that this year I will be voting independent.

News Press

Noon, just a little off of De La Guerra Plaza (its fenced off so the grass can grow back after fiesta) a small crowd gathered to hear the News Press employee representatives and members of the community give the latest updates regarding the News Press. About 50 people including members of the media were in attendance, and a press packet was handed out which included: A press release from the Santa Barbara News Press Editorial staff regarding the news conference, a letter to local residents set to Wendy McCaw, the letter sent to suspended employees, letters from businesses canceling advertising, and other letters and press releases.

The first to speak was Lou Cannon former Washington Post reporter and famed Reagan biographer. He was part of a community delegation that sent a letter to Wendy McCaw asking to speak to her, which she never replied to. “It’s a bad situation.” He said referring to the Santa Barbara News Press and the fact that the publishers of a small locally owned paper were unwilling to meet with members of the community and that the News Press management was “behaving like a far away chain” instead of the local paper that it says it is.

Many other people got up to speak supporting News Press employees, expressing frustration with current management, and what should be done at the News Press. Although Mayor Marty Blum was unable to attend she sent a letter that told of her long standing support of the paper, and that people should be able to trust what they read, so after 38 years of subscribing to the News Press she was cancelling her subscription.

The over whelming theme of the rally was trust in your paper, and that the News Press had lost the trust of the community. That the publishers had an obligation to listen to local people, and that owning a local paper, isn’t like owning other businesses, it is a public trust, and that the paper must be accountable to its readers.

Also a big push was supporting the employees of the News Press. Of how the employees were being mistreated by current management, with 11 being placed on suspension for trying to deliver a letter to the owner, and new charges filed for unfair labor practice by both employees and management. That though the employees loved the News Press they were fighting for journalistic integrity and the return of it to the News Press.

Union organizer Marty Keegan of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters did say that they had met with some of the News Press people in San Francisco and tried to work things out but couldn’t come to an agreement. They are looking to have a union election on September 26^th. He feels that 10% of home circulation will cancel by the end of this week based on support cards filled out in July and August. The union is only for the editorial and newsroom personnel, about 37 people, to form a union they need 50% of the vote plus one person, as of last count they have 75% of the vote.

There was another resignation today by Kim Burnell the Assistant Sports editor, for a total of 17 resignations in the last two months.

To cancel your subscription you can call (805) 564-5200.
www.savethenewspress.com has dates and information from the newsroom employees.

Psycho Kitty

It all started about a month ago. Around ten at night A and I were watching the TV, it was rather hot out so we had the front door open. When from the corner of my eye I see a blur of grey dart through the door and up the stairs. I sit up and look over at A "Did a cat just run up stairs?" So we get up and go upstairs, cautiously because it could have rabies, you never know, and track it to under the bed. I grab it (very nice cat meows once but doesn't try to fight me) and I toss it outside.

Then randomly two nights ago it runs in the house again. About an hour after we get it outside we open the door and the cat is just sitting there staring at the house, looking almost hopefully at us. It is slightly shy so it runs off if we get close to it. Then yesterday as I was sitting on our porch the cat comes up and jumps on my lap (guess I was wrong about the shy thing) and makes himself comfortable. Now I'm an animal person, and the cat doesn't seem to be dirty so I let it sit there for awhile, and dub him/her (I didn't check) Chester. Then I go to move Chester and it jumps right back on my lap and lays down. I had to pick him up, stand, then put him down. I also gave him a saucer of milk but he wasn't hungry, probably not the brightest thing for me to do.

I talked to my friend Alli that night, who had stayed at our house about two weeks ago when we weren't here and she also mentioned the little grey cat who kept trying to get in the house. She had to kick him out a few times too.

For a final kicker, last night at about 3 a.m. I hear a meowing which sounds like its coming from inside. A and I get up and wonder how in hell did that thing get inside? I turn on the lights and look around (I'm blind as a bat though without my contacts) finally realizing that the thing had climbed onto out roof and squished up against the screen of our open window trying to get inside. It howled for about ten minutes before it (hopefully) went away. Chester has turned into a stalking kitty and I'm starting to get creeped out, why it wants to get into our house so badly is beyond me. I just hope it doesn't realize that we leave the sky lights slightly open or it will probably try to wedge itself inside and get stuck half in and half out.

WooHoo!!

Ok so I finally got over that twice a week hurdle. That's right last night I exercised again, for a little over an hour! That's already three times this week and although most experts say that it takes at least two weeks before your body starts to change I can (of course) already see progress (not really) but I'll continue to pretend to.

But tonight there will be no exercising its all about the cleaning. So I think I'll having to pop in the Star Wars trilogy (the good one), open a beer and try to clean our not gross but definelty untidy house. And I've no idea how to fix the clutter, that is our biggest problem, I swear its because we don't really have any closets.

Two Days in a Row!!

Ok so yay me!! I actually went and worked out last night, ok nothing hardcore a couple of bleachers and a total of 4 laps. But two days in a row is pretty good for me. I am taking a break tonight as I don't want to get burnt out, am getting my hair done, and my ass is still sore from Sunday. But I have high hopes for Wednesday.

Ooh I did finally get a job (finally being less than a week), I started last Monday but it doesn't seem that important so I tend to forget about it. Also I am planning on going back to school next year so I wasn't looking for a "real" job (one that I would feel bad about leaving). I've started the applications and everything, ok so I started them about two weeks ago and then haven't touched them since, but I did print out the transcript request form.

Lets Try This Again

Well A and I and another couple are headed to Hawaii in October, so I have two months to get in shape. And although I am in no way over weight I could definitely tighten some things up. So here I go again trying the exercise thing. These little blips of exercising usually only last about two days, or if I'm really good two days a week for two weeks. But this time I'm going to do it, I'm going to keep exercising, I started yesterday and I'm going after work to do some bleachers. My goal is three times a week until we go (and hopefully will become a pattern that I follow when we get back too). And today I am super sore, and it doesn't help that I've been sitting on my ass all day. I'll try to keep you posted.

Good Times

I got FIRED!! Which is a first for me. And its not the losing of the job that bugs me its the fact that I got fired. After 90 days I was told that I was being let go, that I wasn't detail oriented enough and that I didn't take charge. I don't know maybe it was something bigger than that and they were being nice. I admit I wasn't that great at the job I just couldn't bring myself to care about it that much, but I wasn't horrible either. But I can see them wanting to hire someone that is better at the job, that really cares about the job too. So I hold no grudges.

So I'm on the hunt for a job again. But I think that this time I'll just be looking for something to pass the time, that I really don't care about but it will pay the bills.

Excess Speed and Weddings

So apparently its wedding season. I've now been to two in the last two weeks, the closest one being 5 hours away. But this last one was for my stepsister, my dad informed me two months ago that I was going. So I hopped in the car with A and away we went. Oh did I mention that my father is so cheap that I had the privilege of being the wedding photographer? I just started my job so don't have anytime off se we left late Friday night and got to my Mom's house around 11:30. The wedding went fine, a few little glitches but it was actually pretty fun, the bride was obviously pregnant and the groom's English was so broken he had to ask the minister to repeat the vows a few times. It was a Peruvian/Russian wedding with dancing and lots of alcohol, pretty entertaining.

The bad part of the weekend was the drive home. I was already a little bit tired and I just wanted to be home so stupidly I drove a tiny bit fast in a place where I really should have known better, and got the flashing lights in my rearview mirror. Oops 95 in a 70. She was nice enough to only give me 90 which after checking the Monterrey county website means I can attend traffic school but I do have to go to court, in King City 2 1/2 hours away at 8:15 in the morning. That should be good times.

GO AWAY!!

Why is it that on days when your eyes feel like they are about to pop and you can tell a headache is starting, so you just want to be left alone, everyone wants to talk to you? Usually I love talking to people but today just back off!! And I have to be extra careful not to turn into raving bitch at people, especially at work, and that extra monitoring just pushes the headache arther along. And of course if I do crack and bite someone's head off that too will just give me a bigger headache and I get the added bonus that everyone will hate me. And the sympathetic head tilts with the accompanying "Do you not feel well?" just makes it worse, like you asking somehow helps, it doesn't so just go away. If someone could please throw me down a long oubliette and just leave me there, that would be great. But of course I'll want out by Thursday (America vs. Ghana).

Getting In Shape For Summer

So I signed up to do this exercise thing on line (it was free), like most women in America I have body issues, as a smaller woman I don't have big issues. But A had recently started being good about going to the gym and running, so I've started to feel like a lazy slob. So I decided that I would try this online exercise and diet thingy, to tone up so if I go on vacation this summer I will only be pasty instead of out of shape and pasty. The first step is to write down everything you eat on a work day and on a weekend and then feel like a slob for what you ate. This is day one for me and so far this is what I have consumed:

     2 granola bars (chocolate and peanut butter)
     2 cups of tea
     1 handful of M&M's
     1 Hamburger - with Cheese, Mayonaise, Mustard, and Onions (yeah a vegetable)
     1 order of fries
     1 Chocolate milkshake (calcium)

Its 2 o'clock so I haven't had dinner yet but there is not really that much hope that is will be any better. Ok so I'm not the healthiest eater. But I walked to work and I'm planning on doing their first set of exercises today, I might even stop by the sports store and buy my 5 lb weights, but that is probably pushing it. Actually I have no idea how I'm not fat as it is, I really should be.

Worth Our Time?

So one of my college roommates got married this weekend. This is my first college friend to get married and well I'm really not too surprised that she was the first to go. Since she was getting married in Placerville (hangtown, not kidding) a few of us decided to get a cabin in Tahoe. Great idea there were 7 beds, a bbq, and two bathrooms, all good Tahoe was beautiful, and the weather was great. Now we're all cheap and I'm the first to lead the discount charge but after spending at least 22 hours in a car (the weekend lasted a total of 80 hours, I had a lot of time to figure this out while sitting on my but watching the ten thousandth cow go by), that's 27% percent of the time spent in a car. Now most of us have been out of college for awhile, we can support ourselves, some even do quite well, we make between 0 (actually she's still losing money) to about $35/hour (probably more but its not me so I don't really know), so on average we make about $17.50 an hour. At 22 hours that's $385 that each of us basically just wasted (plus gas which I think was $30 a person), and a flight from Burbank would have been $250, which now seems like nothing. So even though it seems like saved we didn't, I was ready to kill myself on the way home and it felt like I spent the whole weekend in the car. Next time I think I will probably splurge and take a flight for an hour and a half instead of the 9 hour car ride. Of course I'm driving 5 hours next weekend to go to my step sisters wedding in the bay area and I'm not flying to that either, but I'll bitch about that next week.

Cravings

Everyone gets cravings. I get cravings. Today I had a craving for overacting and loud explosions so I went to the video store and picked up Rambo II and III (I had seen Rambo I on TNT earlier in the week). Yes I've seen these movies before but I'd wanted to watch them all week, A is out of the house (he would not appreciate me making him watch these), so on impulse I went out and rented them. I realize these are not the best specimens of American Cinematography (although Rambo II was nominated for an Oscar ... Ok for special effects) but they deliver in the action, explosions, and big hair on men. And damn Stallone was buff back then. Rambo First Blood was a pretty good movie. The concept was more than just macho man with a gun, it told the story of a Vietnam vet, although 10 years after the United States had pulled out of Vietnam, whose life had been spent fighting a war half way across the world only to come home and have the people he thought he was defending hate him and ridicule him. After the war our hero has no direction and can't understand why people hate him. Already unstable, the people that he defended finally treated him so poorly that he finally snapped and became the bad guy. Its got a decent plot and good action. Admittedly 2 and 3 are obviously just in it for the money, sure they are fun action movies but they don't have the interesting story line that the first one did. Of course they also have happier endings. See I don't understand why you would want this guy who flips fighting for you. In the first movie the cops spray him with a hose and harass him and he totally wigs out remembering being tortured by Vietcong, in the second movie he's captured buy the Vietcong/Russians and electrocuted yet remains totally calm. Meditation? Drugs? And I have to admit Stallone is a horrible actor, the chick that couldn't speak English was more believable. Still loved them all.

Home Improvement?

Ah summer is here and with it comes so many plans to get things done. I don't own my home so my plans are really just smaller things like organize the bedroom, and clean up the house, maybe paint something. This last weekend I had nothing planned so I had major plans to at least clean up the house, maybe even start on the bedroom. Except Friday night I went to happy hour and that put me to sleep around 10:00. Ok then I'll definitely get stuff done on Saturday. I got up early made breakfast, and then zoned out for about 3 hours. After that I decided I needed to go shopping, where I wasted another 3 hours in which I got nothing accomplished except the purchase of a cute skirt (was looking for shoes). So I get home and decompress, and instead of thoroughly cleaning we call up some friends for Chinese food and video games. Although due to the arrival of friends the living room was quickly straightened up and random crap hidden. Ok but Sunday I would do better. I didn't wake up early and A made breakfast, and then I started watching one of those home makeover shows which inspired me. So I ran to ACE and bought some shelves, I came home and hung up a picture, decided it was in the wrong spot so I moved it to the other side of the wall. After that I rewarded myself with some gold medal ribbon ice cream and a well deserved break. An hour later I decided to try to tackle the shelves, so I took measurements and drew lines on the wall, again decided it was time for a break so I got some chips and salsa and sat down to watch Lake Placid. Ok I was firm, I was going to finish those stupid shelves, I got in one mount, then A came home and helped me with the second one. I was getting the third one in when it was brought to my attention that I had the wrong screws to attach the mounts to the wall. So I gave up. So after two days I have one picture hung and three shelf mounts sticking out of the wall, basically it now looks worse than it did before. YEAH ME!!

Survivor Man Vegas

Ah Vegas, America's playground. More like America's hunting ground. Packs of twenty something males roam around looking for willing females. While the women are more like ambush hunters waiting till a male comes near and then strikes. Although I don't know if you could consider either group to be prey, since it appeared to me that they are both looking for the same thing. Now if you aren't out hunting you might feel like prey, left alone for even a minute and you're swarmed, guys standing too close telling you that you have pretty eyes, or grabbing you and trying to pull you into a dance. I've learned the hard way that subtly in this case is not an option, a hard shove doesn't even faze them, but they do seem to have exceptionally short memories so if you run away they will move on to the next girl. You don't even have to be that attractive, all you really need is a pulse.

Mother's Day

Ah Mother's day. The second most commercialized day of the year after Christmas. Don't get me wrong I do think that mothers' deserve a day of their own, they do a lot, and from what I can see from friends, family, and coworkers its still the mom that does the brunt of the child rearing (thereare of course exceptions). But it just seems so sad to run around because you have to get your mom a gift because the calendar says so. Yes I got my mom a gift (it was late but I called her on Sunday). And now I feel bad because I forgot to call my step mom who I'm sorry is not my mother and had no hand in the rearing of me (she married my father when I was 19), she's a wonderful woman and I love her but she's not my mom (I'm gonna call her tonight). Although I still feel bad for not sending her a card.

Sunny SB

Ok Santa Barbara is supposed to be this wonderful vacation town, and I have to admit that its pretty great, but it definatly has its draw backs. Like June, supposed to be one of the brightest months of the year, is one of the worst in SB, its known as June gloom and its cold and damp, totally sucks. And then over the last few years is been gloomy and damp in May too, and that's just not fair. I'm ok with June but May too? At least its supposed to burn off by the afternoon and half the time it does do that, the other half it stays horrible the whole day. Summer is actually the worst time is SB, usually Spring and Fall are the best seasons here. But this year spring got completely rained out, and then fogged over. Oh well I guess we can keep our hopes up for August that's usually a good month.

Really?

OK so when did master/slave contracts become normal? I was reading The Smoking Gun and yet again theres another story about about some sado masochism sex contract gone bad. Its always so sad too because you think that if these two love birds can't make it who can? But anyways this contract looks like its some form letter downloaded off the internet. I'm pretty liberal but that still grosses me out, not that I'm judging (I totally am, sorry). And who thought to post form letters? Was there one guy out there who was just like "All these contracts that I've been filling out totally blow, I'll write up my own and everyone will use it and finally there will be peace in the master/sex slave world!" And its been in the news so often, there must be thousands of people out there just like me who are so intensely disturbed by these news stories that they too feel the need to go find more stories that disturb and disgust them.

Oh To Be a Woman

Today was an amazing day for me. Usually I would say that a six hour drive between Sacramento and Santa Barbara is more of a boring day, but something amazing happened during this drive, something that shocked me to my very core. About two hours into the drive we stopped at a Chevron somewhere south of Stockton on the I-5, and I get out and head to the bathroom. And this is where I saw it. As I walked to the ladies room I noticed that the men's room actually had a small line while I walked straight into the ladies. This never happens. I've waited in lines for ten minutes as thousands of guys goes in and out while the women in line make small talk about how there is always a line for girls. So I couldn't help but smile a triumphant smile at the guy, because for once I was able to walk straight up to the door and go in.

Weird Day

Ever have one of those days that's just kind of surreal? Today was my last day at my first "real" job, I was there for over two and a half years. I thought that I would be sad to go, kind of nostalgic? Nope, the whole day just kind of passed. Didn't seem special, monumental, nothing. Of course I'll miss some of the people but not the job itself. The main feeling I get is relief. So the whole day I kind of just went through the motions, the weirdest point was when I finished cleaning off my desk and packed everything away and all I thought was "Hmm my desk has never been that clean, looks weird." And the worst part is getting ready for my new job the part that I mention is the best part is that I can walk to work. Does nothing else draw me to the job, sadly that was the deciding factor.

Milestones

I'm am so proud today. After two years and much agony I've finally finished, and I don't think that I've ever been prouder. College graduation, my first job these are nothing compared to the joy I feel from this. That's right I've finally finished knitting my first scarf. Sure the lines aren't the straightest and many of the loops are large enough to drive cars through but I don't care, I wear it proudly to work on this the twenty fifth day of April. And then you might ask me, why this project has taken me 2 years? Well I started in Dan's house thinking to knit myself something warm in that freezing place, but my joints froze up from the cold and I could only knit very slowly. Summer came along and it got put away. And then we moved. So randomly I was trying to find something in the closet when I came across my old knitting, so I brought it downstairs and decided to give it another shot. And now after about a month I have a finished scarf!! YEAH ME!

Sure I Can Drive Five Hours

Ah the joys of getting married. One of them is calling up friends from miles away so that they can watch you try on dresses while they sit there and ooh and ahh wondering why this place doesn't have vending machines because a big bar of chocolate would definitely be appreciated. Of course I can't really complain I promised that if she needed me I would be up there, and I wanted to go too. As E is one of my closest friends it nice to be a part of the planning. But I'm not a good shopper, it tires me out and it gets annoying really quickly. But wedding dress shopping is different you actually have to make an appointment and then wake up early and head to these places, where it takes at least two people to dress one person, in dresses that cost more than my rent. And of course no one can decide on one dress, they all look wonderful, although there were quite a few that looked hideous (as a good bridesmaid I let her know that those were not an option), so we take pictures and then obsess about those for the rest of the night. After the dress is narrowed down to two likely contenders its the bridesmaids' turn to try on the dresses. Thankfully we basically ran out of time. I'm kind of hoping that they just tell me to buy a certain dress, at this point I don't even care if it looks good I just don't want to try anything on. Although I did get a hot dog on a stick so I had a good day.

Procrastination and Taxes

Have you noticed that taxes aren't really that hard to do anymore? Well if you're me, a single gal making very little they aren't hard to do at all. But I still wait till the last minute and then scramble around and try to find all of my W-2s. I swear I put them all in the same spot, but I could only find two of the three forms that I needed. Oh well I'm a pretty good guesser. Then I had to decide if I was going to do this the traditional way or online, online won by a landslide. I got a bunch of emails from turbo tax, and I'm a big believer in quantity not quality so I gave them a shot. They are great for for federal, but charge you for state the whole thing probably took about ten minutes. And since today is the seventeenth I suck it up and pay for state instead of doing them again (I have no idea where I stuck the rest of my W-2s anyways). At least I'm getting more back than what I had to pay. Now here I am sitting at work printing out my tax forms and looking for an envelope, asking myself why didn't I finish this three weeks ago when I started filling out the form and got distracted by Land of the Dead? At least the post offices are open till midnight.

Parents

I went up to visit my parents for the weekend. I love the bay area but visiting my parents is kind of a chore. Its not that I don't love them, I do its just that they are divorced so I feel like have to spend a certain amount of time with both of them to be fair. And then I have no time to visit my friends. I have to sneak up to the Bay Area and not tell my parents if I want to visit friends, and then I feel guilty. But the other thing is that I don't do anything when I visit my parents. I sit, eat, and watch t.v. And then I go to the other house and the cycle repeats itself. This time I mixed it up a bit by bringing my knitting, wow that was a good time. And then my dad always tries to get me to have a drink or be ok with him smoking a stinky cigar, I showered because I don't want to smell bad, your cigar will completely ruin the effect. A five hour drive for this? I get guilt trips about not coming home, but when was the last time one of them came and visited me? My mom cam over a year and a half ago my dad almost two years ago. But still its my fault, I'm a bad child for moving so far away.

Mind wanderings

 So I'm trying to take up knitting again. Its kind of frustrating, and I'm no good at it but it keeps my hands busy. So last night as I sat at home trying to knit, feminism popped into my head. I have no idea why, I think knitting is neither a feminist or nonfeminist thing, its generally a girlie thing but I don't think practitioners of the craft have any particular leanings either way. But there I was and a commercial came on, and it made me so annoyed. In our battles to make everything equal, advertising does its best to keep all stereotypes intact. Its moms that are cleaning the house and making dinner, men that are driving fast cars, and clothing challenged women selling beer. So I tip my hat to you Hoover vacuum for having bikers as the spokesmen for your product, bikers drinking milkshakes. There is no point to this story.

Big Brother in Oregon?

So I recently read that Oregon is starting to lose revenue on gas taxes because people are buying smaller, more gas efficient cars. So to make that money back they are seriously considering taxing the amount of miles that are driven instead of the amount of gallons purchased. Basically you would put a little gps unit in your car that would track where, when, and how far you drove and then tax you on instate and peak hour diving. Track my driving? Ok I don't live in the Oregon and have no plans to move there in the future, but if it works in one state others might adopt it, and that worries me. I don't want anyone tracking my driving. True I don't go anywhere interesting but thats not the point. The point is that this falls under personal privacy, as a private citizens I have a right to go where ever I want. And of course they say that the information from the gps wouldn't be used for anything else and would be erased every time you go to the gas station and pay your taxes. But you know are government would start using those records to follow people around, of course only suspicious people, but what exactly is the definition of a suspicious person? What right do they have to ask me where I go?

 

And then what if they decide to track how fast you were going? Automatically send you a ticket when you go over the speed limit? And then a little camera in the car to make sure that you are doing nothing illegal?

My Thoughts on the FCC

The FCC is one of many government organizations that are trying to take away Americans' freedoms. The FCC scares me; I realize that they are answering to people complaining about shows, but how many more people aren't complaining? Why listen to the minority, and why take such drastic measures? The extreme censorship of the FCC is wrong, the fact that they won't give stations guidelines so instead they live in fear that they are going to get fined up the wazoo for something that they weren't sure was "indecent" or not. Take for example the WB's new show about an undergraduate sex class. They edited the first show after finishing it removing scenes of two girls kissing and another of a girl unzipping her jeans. Neither of those scenes seems indecent to me but the WB is scared that the FCC might fine them, and fine them not just once for an indecent show but for every time they think something is indecent. What right do they have to say that two girls kissing is indecent? As long as the show is rated for adults people should not be so up in arms regarding the content. If you think something is indecent, write a letter to the station, stop watching the show, but stop complaining about it to the FCC.

And where is it going to stop? It seems like lately the FCC is censoring more and more often. What right do they have to tell me what I can and can't watch? Isn't this infringing on the stations right to free speech?

I'm ok for reprimanding CBS for the Janet Jackson incident (although the fine did seem a little high), it was in the middle of the day, children could have been watching, and there seemed like there was no risk of seeing a boob when you started watching. But if a show is on late, and has an adult rating, that means it should have a little leeway. If you don't want to risk seeing something that offends you check out the Disney channel or TLC. I want my TV unedited, I'm adult enough to know what’s decent and what isn't, and I'm adult enough to turn off the TV or write a letter to the creator of the show, not go tell my mommy that some show hurt my feelings. And you know that the people that complain about these shows are little old ladies scanning the channels just waiting for something indecent to happen so that she can report it.

The chairman of the FCC is appointed by the president, that’s why I'm not totally surprised that the chairman, Kevin J. Martin, had worked for the president before. This wouldn't be the first time that George W. had promoted someone for past loyalties, instead of present works. Mr. Martin probably feels that is his duty to clean up American television, that TV should be more moral and crap like that.

Just give me everything, I can filter out the indecent. If I wanted to watch edited TV I can watch tbs.

Freddy, Zombies, and Coked up Monkeys

I love horror movies, with some hot kettle corn and a coke, there is nothing better than sitting in a theatre waiting for the next scare. I don't like the artsier scary movies, I like the ones dripping with cheese, ones with horrible actresses whose only talent is her ability to wear tight tops and scream at everything. As a feminist that might sound a bit wrong, but I can't help it. I actually cheered when I saw the preview for Freddy vs. Jason and I was extremely disapointed when Alien vs. Predator came out with a PG-13 rating instead of an R, and I even thought House of Wax was very entertaining.

You have to wonder about horror fans. I would assume that for most of them there must have been some sort of traumatic event in their youth. For me it was when I was five or six and my teenage cousin came to stay with us for the summer. He would sit on the couch and watch movies all day long. One day when both of my parents were gone he popped in Nightmare on Elm St (the original and scariest one) and let me watch it. Now the concept behind Nightmare on Elm St is one of the creepiest, a mutilated murderer stalks you in your dreams, and (as the movie points out) eventually you have to sleep. So every night for a week I woke up screaming and would run into my parents' room and crawl into bed with my mom.

If I followed the Love Line theory of if something traumatizes you when you are younger you will be drawn to that act/person/thing when you are older, then the reason I love horror movies is because they scared me so badly when I was young. I wonder about other fans... were they traumatized like me, do they associate horror movies with a good memory, or are they just sick and twisted?

In the last few years I have moved from slasher movies (still love them though) to zombie movies. They are fun because often they are little commentaries on what the writer/director feels society has become. I like them because in a weird way I think the zombies are cute (I have already established that I have issues). And I have moved the movie Sean of the Dead into my all time best list. Of course most of these zombie and slasher films are worthless dribble that were probably written by coked up monkeys, but then thats probably why I love them.

Girls Scout Cookies and World Domination

Why do people (me) obsess over girl scout cookies? Is it because they are so good? Only come out once a year? Or because they put an addictive chemical in it that makes you crave it the minute you see a box, like some trigger in your mind?

So on Sunday I was making waffles, I was cleaning up and went to put the flour away on the top shelf of the pantry. I put the flour down and the shelf goes crashing into the one below it which then falls also. So I gently close the cupboard door and finish up the waffles. After breakfast its decided that a trip to Ace Hardware is needed.

On the way into the store I notice a bunch of young school girls and their mothers. My heart rate starts to go up and I get excited, they are selling girl scout cookies! I hadn't even realized it was that season. Usually someone at work will send out an email letting everyone know that their little girl is selling cookies and that it is our duty to buy some (and if its the CEO sending out the email everyone must buy). I of course do my duty and then some.

The girl scouts got their start in 1912, but the famed cookies didn't get their start until 1917. And those cookies are not the cookies we crave today. Up until the 30s the cookies were homemade, by the little girl scouts with mothers supervising, they packaged them up in little wax bags and put a girl scout sticker on them. Then in 1936 the Girl Scouts started to get serious. They hired a commercial baker and set up mass production of the cookies, and in 1937 over 125 girl scout councils held cookie sales.

Today about 70% of the sales stay with local Girl Scout councils. The balance goes to the baker. Of that 70% about 12-17% goes straight to the troupe. So of the $8 I spent a good $.95 went straight to the dealers, I mean girls I bought them from. So yeah! I bought the cookies to help empower little girls in my community, and not for the yummy yummy goodness that can be found within each brightly colored box. And I totally didn't start to panic when I realized that no one would be bringing Girl Scout cookies to work, and that I would have to drive back to the hardware store to stock up.

And then I have to ask myself, why don't they sell this stuff year round? Is it because if they were offered year round no one would buy their overpriced confections? They offer it once a year so that you feel like you have to buy them (the cute little girl hawking the goods doesn't hurt either) or you will be missing out. And the price isn't that bad, after all its only once a year, nevermind that you normally don't buy cookies at all, that's not the point.

I'm pretty sure that the Girl Scouts are planning world domination. There has to be a chemical in the cookies just building up in everyone's brain, and then one day they push a button and we all do whatever they tell us. I mean you never notice them eating the cookies.

Ms. Piggy and Other Randomness

Ok I think I’ll go off on Ms. Piggy. How she can associate with Jessica Simpson and Dominoes is beyond me. I mean one or the other maybe, but both? She really is a slut, and she seems to have left Kermit behind. That ungrateful bitch! She would be nothing without that little green frog. I mean he’s already said that it isn’t easy being green but being dumped by a pig? That’s got to sting. And if I have to pick one or the other, the amphibian has my vote every time.

I mean I used to really like Ms. Piggy, although she was always a little over the top jealous and rather violent, which can’t be good for children to watch day after day, but if she’s starting to hang with the chicken of the sea gal I’m out. I miss the muppets, those critics on the balcony were a riot. And Animal, Beaker, the Swedish chef and the chickens those were all the coolest characters ever. How did that go off the air and yet Barny is still poisoning the youth of America?

I admit, a lot of the shows I grew up on were totally crap, its like a bunch of stoned guys got together wrote down a bunch of words that didn’t go together at all and said, “That’s genius! Lets draw it!” For example: the PawPaw Bears, I loved it but it was lame, or the Snorks they really weren’t as good as the Smurfs. The Smurfs were a classic, I think it worked because the vocab was so small, just insert the word “smurf” for anything.

The Not So Secret World of Geocaching

There we were walking around this tree squatting, moving around branches, trying to get a closer look. “You?” A calls out “No, you?” We were off the path trying to find a geocache and not having much luck, this was our second one, the first one we had not been able to find. Then finally I noticed a color that was slightly out of place “I found it.”

Geocaching is a hobby that I thought was only for techie geeks that were also outdoorsy, but apparently quite a few people do including a friend of mine from MS who had never heard of the Ipod Nano when I showed it to her in December (I think it had already been out for 6 months by then). Its a lot like a scavenger hunt, you get the coordinates and maybe a clue and then try to find a little treasure. Within the cache there are usually little trinkets and a log book which you sign and date and maybe leave a little message.

Apparently it started in 2000 when President Clinton lifted scrambling for civilian gps, so that manufacturers could produce more precise machines. One guy hid a bucket, posted the coordinates on the internet, and the great game was born.

Aaron and I went out today to Hendry’s beach in Santa Barbara to try and find the first cache. The cache was supposedly by the restaurant by the beach and there were quite a lot of people milling about, waling to and from the beach, or eating on the outside patio of the restaurant. So we get to where we think it might be (a gps has a +/- radius of about 20 feet) and try looking for it. Aaron is way more subtle than I am, I lean over the bushes and look under benches, he sits down and glances over at the bushes. Well we didn’t want to look to weird so after about ten minutes we gave up on that one and started down the beach looking for another one.

Again we felt kind of self conscious about holding a gps so like the idiots we are every once in awhile we would hold it up to our ears and pretend that it’s a cell phone, it kind of looks like one maybe people believed us, who knows I didn’t stop and ask. But as we start coming upto the place where the geocache should be Aaron informs me that he thinks he was mistaken and that the cache is probably not on the beach but instead above us 100 feet on the cliff. Lovely. There’s no way to get to cliff from the beach (well at least no way that we can see). So we head back to our car and look for a way to get to the cliffs from the street we came in on. About twenty feet past the parking lot we notice a little trail that goes up to cliffs, so we make a u-turn and re-park.

It takes awhile to get up the hill and to the cliffs and then some bad gps reading on our part. Finally we get to the spot that we think its in. Off the trail around a deformed, short tree we start searching for the cache. I finally find a Tupperware container, of course I don’t want to touch it because it looks kind of wet. Inside there are a bunch of little toys (I loved the gummi bears little figurine) and beads that people had left. We didn’t bring anything to leave in the box so we signed our names and put everything back.

Although I must admit that I felt rather lame looking for these things as normal people walked by, after finding the cache it was so much cooler. Its like you know a secret, you are in the know, and everyone else is oblivious.

UltraViolet = UltraPainful

Ok I like cheesy movies. Usually I am the last person to say a movie sucks as long as its not some sappy romance movie I can usually find something redeeming with it. Like House of Wax, I was entertained and didn't feel like they stole my money I even thought Paris Hilton had a great death scene (although Jared paedecki's character border on the psychotically stupid, Hey are those weird operating instruments in this creepy house? I think I should take a closer look.). And Freddie vs. Jason will always be a favorite, I mean on the dvd you have the option to just cycle through the death scenes, you really couldn't ask for more than that. But UltraViolet had no redeeming qualities. The dialog was painful, the fight scenes were way over the top, and the plot was non existant, and everything about the movie seemed forced. And I don't usually care if people are good actors (I already mentioned that P.H. wasn't that bad in House of Wax), but this was wrong, one of the girls in my group actually fell asleep during the movie. And its not like I went in with high expectations, no offence to Mila Jovovich but if she's in a movie I'm pretty sure its not going to be oscar caliber, but the Resident Evil flicks were pretty decent, and The Fifith Element is a classic (ok so its not like she talks a lot in that movie) but still, Mila for shame!! You should actually apologize to people for this! What were you thinking? This is way worse than Speed 2: Cruise Control could ever be, and VanHelsing doesn't even come close. This movie was worse than the myriad of LifeTime movies played over and over on the WE channel. This movie should be getting negative stars, it is a smoking pile of crap.